Ma’am, Please Pull Over.

Traffic jam

Suddenly my little car starts flashing and shouting at me.

First the oil light goes on, then the engine light goes on and then to make sure I’m really paying attention, the beeping starts. My already elevated stress levels shoot through the roof of the car and I’m certain there must be a hole in it now.

For a moment panic sets in as I freak out thinking my car is going to give up in protest and stop moving. Crossing its arms and stopping its legs, kind of like a little kid having a tantrum does.

My car and I would make tonight’s 6 o’clock news. I can just hear the headline –“Stubborn Car and useless driver cause 30 car pileup on freeway”

Thankfully my little car keeps rolling along and I’m able to find a safe place to pull over on the side of the road. By this time, there is smoke billowing out from under the bonnet. I’m not sure if the car is on fire or it’s steam.

Can’t smell fire, so I guess it must be steam.

As the traffic of the freeway flies by, there is nothing I can do but sit and wait until my little car has purged itself of all it’s grot.

I call for help and wait patiently. That’s all I can do.

Did you know there’s a freeway in your head too?

It’s the freeway of thoughts that’s always in peak hour mode. So many thoughts rushing by one after the other.

Sometimes the thoughts collide with each other, sometimes they flow smoothly past each other. But the freeway in your mind, full of thoughts is always flowing.

And there are times when there’s a traffic jam in that red blob between your ears. A gridlock of competing thoughts.

Thoughts about ALL the things you’ve got to do today. Your kids who need ferrying to sports, picked up from school, the deadline you have on a project, your dog that needs walking, the house that needs cleaning, your husband who needs some attention and on and on it goes.

It’s enough to make you want to throw your head on the horn of the steering wheel and just let it blast!

Ma’am, please pull over.

It’s time to give yourself a break from your thoughts. It’s time to power down for a little while.

Every day.

One of the ways I like to power down is by meditating.

Sitting still and deeply breathing, or listening to a guided meditation. Sometimes it takes a while for my brain to power down, other times it happens in an instant.

As long as I am giving myself the time and space to just sit, breath and be without judgment about how much chatter is or isn’t going on in my mind or if I’m doing it “right” I’m also giving my nervous system a chance to have a break from the adrenalin pumping around in my body. Which is being caused by all my thoughts, which are increasing my stress levels.

It’s become such a habit that sometimes I’m not even aware of this adrenalin fuelled feeling anymore.

Perhaps meditation isn’t your thing (although I really encourage you to give it a go just for a few minutes to begin with) so think of something else you can be in that will help you pull over on the side of the road and power down for a little.

Just to be.

Sit in nature, go for a walk and smell all the flowers you come across. Lay on the ground.

Whatever works for you be consistent.

Now, when I really allow myself to be still, focus on my breath and allow my thoughts to fall away, I feel like I have had a 2-hour sleep in only 10 minutes!

This really is a matter of avoiding a 30 car pile-up or cruising along the freeway of your life, crash free! Do something everyday to step aside let your thoughts go by and power down.

Your body will thank you for it and I guarantee you will be more productive and better equipped to handle the crashes when they happen.

And no sleep doesn’t count!

little boy riding his bike through woodland trail

You Might Get Hit By A Car

 

Riding on his bike down the footpath to the park my 3-year-old son calls out to his friends who are ahead of him, “Stop at the corner”

Naw how cute I think to myself smiling. He’s looking out for his friends and knows that it’s a safety thing, stopping at the corner. Don’t want to get hit by any cars now!

As I thought more about this proud mumma moment, I realised that just like a parrot, my son was mimicking me.

He had heard me say a million times before, as we had ventured to the park “Stop at the corner” and had now taken it on as his own.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he’s listened to me and knows the meaning of it but what I realized is this is thing us humans do, which often we don’t break or question.

We take on things other people tell us, believing that they are true and never really questioning what we know.

The first 7 years of our life, known as the imprint years are both crucial and amazing.

Children’s brains are like sponges. Taking in everything they see, feel, hear and touch. Learning about the world around them. What their place is, how to fit in, that 2 plus 2 equal 4.

A child will create more neural pathways in the brain in the first 5 years of being alive than at any other time.

Simply amazing!!

So as a kid we learn all these new things and then we operate on auto-pilot through the rest of our lives.

Thinking what we do, believing it to be true, never questioning what we know.

Majority of what we believe and think was given to us by someone else. Usually handed down to us by our parents or close family. Then as we get older we are given beliefs and perceptions by our peers.

It’s not even ours in the first place!!

Perhaps you were the fat kid, the smart kid, the sporty kid or the naughty kid at school.

This is what you got told you were and you took it on to be true.

Does what you think now, as an adult serve you well? Or does it hinder you?

Maybe you think you are not smart enough to start your own business, or become the CEO of the company your work for.

Ask yourself, where does this thought or belief come from? Is it really yours or was it given to you?

The best way to know is to feel it in your body.

When you think of the belief does your body feel heavy or light?

Heavy means it’s a lie, light means it’s the truth for you.

So I invite you to really look at all the beliefs you have about yourself and the world and question if they are serving you or holding you back. Do they serve you or do they suffocate you?

Where did they come from? Once you have worked that out, you can energetically and graciously hand them back to their rightful owner.

Keep the ones that serve you, flip the ones that don’t into something that will.

It takes practice, there’re years and years of crappy thoughts and beliefs to unlearn.

Be kind to yourself while you do this. Catch yourself in the moment of the thought and if it makes you feel heavy, you know it’s a little stinker that gets to be flipped into something sweet and light.

You’re a bit older now, you don’t always need to “Stop at the corner” anymore.

 

Whatisstoppingyou

What is Stopping You?

MumJakeandIa

Success Lessons From My Mum

In a few weeks, it will be 6 years since my mum passed away.  Any of you who have lost your mum or a loved one will know, that you miss them everyday. I certainly miss my mum everyday.

She is still with me and the funny thing is, over the last few years I have started to listen to her advice.
Crazy I know but isn’t that life really? We don’t listen to our parents when we are young and it’s only as we get older that we start to realise that they weren’t talking as much crap as we initially thought!!

Mum has been repeating her sage advice in my head over the years and I think I’m finally starting to pay attention.

One piece of that advice was living life by what she called the 5 D’s.

She told me that these 5 D’s were the key to a successful and happy life. If you can exercise them every day, there is nothing you can’t achieve.

And you know what, she was right. They are certainly a structure you can follow to help you make difficult decisions, achieve goals in life, get back on track when you stray and generally have a happy and fulfilled life.

Here are the magical 5 D’s for a successful, fulfilling and exciting life.

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Egoisnot

Ego is not a dirty word, or is it?

As humans, we are designed to run away from things that scare us. We are programmed to run away from things that cause us pain.

We are less inclined to move towards those things that give us pleasure.

It has something to do with our reptilian brain. The oldest part of the human brain.

You know the one. When we are faced in the dessert, or the forest, or the ice with a sabre toothed Tiger (not sure where this thing lives), it’s this part of the brain that kicks in and says to us “Run!! Your life depends on it! Get going girl otherwise you are tonight’s dinner!”

At the core of it, our brains are wired to keep us safe.

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Want to make the world a better place?

Look in the mirror.

I’m a child of the 80’s. Well born in the 70’s but did my growing up in the 80’s.
Rah-rah- skirts. Tie-dyed T-Shirts, Miss Helena on Romper room. Crimped hair. Danced in my lounge room to Lionel Richie, Kylie, Abba, Olivia Newton-John, The Pointer Sisters and Michael Jackson.

Oh how I loved Michael Jackson’s early music. Did you?

As I got older and outgrew my Barbie Doll’s I also outgrew Michael Jackson’s music. Shock Horror! Yes I know many of you held on to your love, but not I.
His later work just didn’t gel with me.

Except for 1 song – Man In The Mirror

These lyrics, particularly strike a chord.

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Unmasking

Unmasking at The Masquerade Ball

Have you ever been to a masquerade ball?

I haven’t but when I think of them, images that I have seen in movies come to mind.
A beautiful big room with a parquetry dance floor.
A spiral staircase leading down from the mezzanine level above where the host can look down upon their guests.
Huge, sparkling multi-tiered chandeliers.
The women dressed in stunning swishy ball gowns that glide across the floor as they dance and twirl and the men dressed handsomely in their tuxedos and polished shiny shoes.

And the part that lets you know it’s a masquerade ball? The masks of course!

Everyone is wearing a mask.

The masquerade ball is a metaphor for life.

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